Step Three: Immediately fail to meet goal (because apparently I forgot to upload this.)

I work for the public. I used to work in retail, but thankfully I made it out alive. I now work in two different libraries. The first is in a VERY poor city (Hint: It filed for bankruptcy in 2011, it is also only a square mile) the second in a fairly wealthy city bordering the first. While I am so, so thankful for my jobs, there are days when all I want is to pull my hair out. 
This summer that has mostly been due to the children running rampant, because of the heat and having no where else to go; But it is the adults who make me truly angry. Adults, around me at least, have a tendency to feel entitled. That they deserve special treatment, or what have you. And nothing, I repeat nothing, gets under my skin than that. I have had random and unsurprisingly sexist things thrown my way ("Nice legs" for instance, or a 'joke' about how I must have broken the copy machine when I was replacing the toner.) but it is the experiences in which a patron gets so angry and aggressive because the rules actually applied to them that blow me, and my temper, away. 
I have been yelled because I faxed all the papers in a stack I was handed even though the patron did not specify otherwise. I have been yelled at because I did not offer a cover sheet even though the patron did not ask. I have been yelled at that the copy machine was broken, and no it NOT because the paper was on the wrong side. I have been yelled at that we don't have a public water cooler, even though it is not a luxury that the Library can afford. I have been accused of not letting a patron take out a damaged book because we saw what he was writing about us. I have been yelled at for not looking up children's library cards, when the child is not present and/or the adult has no ID. I have been yelled at when I patron is asked to get off a computer because their time is up and others are waiting to use it. And then yelled at because they haven't been put back on another computer, even though they refused to go on the waiting list when other patrons were already on said waiting list. and there's so
much more.
But I can honestly say that I do not understand. Why do people feel like the world owes them for living in it? Why do patrons in a library, or even customers in a store, feel they deserve more than everyone else because they "come in all the time." That doesn't actually mean anything. Did they learn in kindergarten to wait their turn? That everyone gets a turn? and everyone has to listen to the rules? That does not magically change after one turns a certain age. Those rules always apply, and they will never not apply. If everyone could just learn to understand that, I think the world would be a much happier place.

Step Two: Write Something

Ok, so life has beaten me this week. I actually wanted to write about stuff in an academic manner... you know challenge myself intellectually. But I guess life had other plans. So instead, I'm going to wind down and just write out what my life has been like this week. That counts right?

So I knew that this week was not going to be fun. By any stretch of the imagination, because looking at the calendar wanted to make me cry. But it has seriously lived up to all expectations.

The Library was closed on Monday due to a state holiday, (We are one of two states who celebrate Victory day apparently). So I knew Tuesday could be bad. But it was down pouring in a city that primarily walks so there were very few people coming in (despite an initial rush right as we opened); and our there were only five requests pending (out going items). I was kinda thankful because our front desk volunteer was out, so I was stuck behind the circ. desk all day.

I should have known it could only get worse.

Wednesday was a nightmare. We open at 11 am. There were fifteen people waiting outside at 10:40 am. We were also down an employee and a volunteer (we seriously depend on volunteers, as we have four staff). And we were slammed as soon as the doors unlocked. The delivery came at 11:10. I had only just looked up the request list (which was four pages long, much more than we usually have) everyone wanted a computer, and we only have five. There was some sort of scavenger hunt being held by a school and we were a stop. I didn't stop moving (or being pulled in three directions at once) for three hours. So it was three hours of chaos.
One of the volunteers who did thankfully make in is not one of the nicer volunteers, she has a tendency to snap at us for no reason when she disagrees with how something is done. But we're so dependent on her support that there isn't much we can do. Then I had to stay late for an event that we thought had ended the week before (they told us the class would run six weeks, and apparently they did NOT count the registration week, so technically it went seven.) So there was also a board meeting that needed the room that was already booked that no one knew was booked.

Thursday was a little better. There was still a rush in the morning, we were still down an employee. And my coworker on my floor couldn't come in until three thirty. But it was supposed to be fine, there was going to be another volunteer come in at 1:30. But she got held up until almost three. Also I was going to take my lunch when she got in, and I was so hungry that I was developing a pretty nasty headache. There was an unexpected delivery of pretty large equipment (that we were not told was a donation, so its also missing pieces.)
And we hosted an Uber recruiting event that started at 3 pm, but set up started at 2pm.

Luckily, today hasn't been too bad. a tad busy, but nothing I couldn't handle. Got yelled at by a patron because the copier "wasn't working" but didn't want to be told that it wasn't working because he had the paper in the wrong spot. Which is annoying and frustrating, but not out of the ordinary. All I really had to deal with today was the delivery. Alone.

I'm not complaining. Just mentally working through my week. and boy was it a WEEK

Step One: set a goal

I often feel like I have no voice and no real identity. My inability to actually write anything has been a big part of that. For so long my identity has been "student," A good student, yes, but nonetheless... my ability to write well has apparently been tied to getting assignments. And I truly loathe that. SO. I feel like I need to fix that. and maybe, fix myself in the process. My goal (because, ironically enough, I was taught that having goals in life is important to achieving anything) to write something every week. because I hate the feeling that I'm a failure, or that I feel like I'm losing touch with myself in my struggle to survive. I'm not sure what I'll be writing about. Maybe it'll be about something profound, or stupid or have the feeling of something I'd write for school. But either way. I need something constructive and creative in my life. So here goes.